• What is a libertarian salad? Lettuce alone! • A libertarian is a liberal who learned economics. • I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache. • What is the derivation of the word Politics? It comes from Poly, meaning many, and Ticks, a blood sucking insect. • How can you tell if a politician is lying? His lips are moving. • How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The Market will take care of it. • Why did the Libertarian cross the road? To start his own country.
What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians?
• Libertarians are anarchists with money. • Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property. • Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options. • Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo. • Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields. • Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting. • Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police. • A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists. • Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them. • Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns. • Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in anything. • Anarchists ignore elections; Libertarians run for office, vote and lose. • Libertarians think anarchists are naive and unrealistic; anarchists don't care what libertarians think.
USATODAY.com - Lame-duck presidents traditionally turn to foreign policy as power ebbs from them at home, and George W. Bush is no exception. What's remarkable about the Bush administration's final year, however, is how different it is from its earlier ones.
USATODAY.com - In January 2007, America's adventure in Iraq seemed like a chaotic failure. The country was riven with sectarian violence, and al-Qaeda in Iraq had gained a foothold in western Anbar province. Attacks on U.S. troops were running well over 1,000 a week, and Iraqi civilians were dying at a rate of more than 3,000 a month.
Copyright (c) 2008 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.
Jack Cashin - Libertarian Candidate He ran for Georgia Agriculture Commissioner in 2006, and this video from YouTube provides some good information about libertarians. (Click twice on the button.)
You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute. How would you react?
Republican: As you jump out with the parachute, you tell them to work hard and not expect handouts.
Democrat: You ask them for a dollar to buy scissors so you can cut the parachute into two equal pieces.
Libertarian: After reminding them of their constitutional right to have a parachute, you take it and jump out.
Objectivist: Your only rational and moral choice is to take the parachute, as the free market will take care of the other person.
Hear Howard Dean's "I have a scream" from: About.com. Click on his photo, a new window will pop-up. No, JokeCat does not consider Howard Dean a Libertarian, but his passion is worth something. Perhaps his scream shows us just how a primary, and an election can turn upon trivial things.
See Howard Dean's scream from YouTube:
Groucho Marx: "Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others."
Ernest Benn: "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win it, you get nothing."
A small town that cannot support one lawyer can always support two.
What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.
JokeCat supports the University of North Dakota in it's disagreement with the NCAA. He believes that the University respects the Sioux Warriors of the past.
The following is not a joke. Rather it is one of the reasons JokeCat is a Libertarian:
"Neither am I the means to any end others may wish to accomplish. I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs. I am not a bandage for their wounds, I am not a sacrifice on their alters." - Ayn Rand ''Anthem'', Chapter XI
The Politics of South Park by Michael Cust
If you haven’t yet, I implore you to watch South Park. It is perhaps the most successful libertarian pop cultural phenomenon since the Canadian band Rush filled radio airwaves in the 1970s. The television show follows the adventures of four foul-mouthed young boys in a rural Colorado town (South Park). Like The Simpsons, South Park uses a full cast of townspeople to provide an imaginative platform for humorous antics and rich social commentary. Unlike The Simpsons, the humour of South Park doesn’t restrict itself to basic social scruples. - More from: lewrockwell.com
Some examples from South Park and Cust:
Episode 713 takes aim at Hollywood director Rob Reiner and the anti-smoking movement. The movement – and especially Reiner – is portrayed as, and called, fascist, controlling, and deceitful, while big tobacco is portrayed as honest, hardworking, and well-rooted in American history.
In Episode 614, political correctness is condemned. When the boys (the main characters) refuse to tolerate their intolerable homosexual teacher, their parents take them to the Museum of Tolerance, where tolerance of everyone (except tobacco smokers) is taught. When this fails, the boys are sent to a gulag called "Death Camp of Tolerance," where they are forced at gunpoint to produce arts and crafts that don’t discriminate along the lines of race and sexual orientation.
The Flinstones Smoke Winston tastes good like a cigarette should. (Click twice on the button.)
"The stumbling U.S. economy is forcing states to slash spending and cut jobs in order to close a projected $40 billion shortfall in the current fiscal year," reports The Wall Street Journal. "That gap -- identified Wednesday in a survey by the National Conference of State Legislatures -- is more than triple the size of the previous year's. It is the result of broad economic weakness at the state and local levels that could cause pain throughout this year and into 2010. Sales-tax collections, for example, have been hurt by the housing slump and high gasoline prices, which are prompting cutbacks in consumer spending."
Chris Edwards, Cato's director of tax policy studies, comments:
"In a story entitled 'States Slammed by Tax Shortfalls,' The Wall Street Journal reported today that states are in 'pain' because they are having to 'slash' spending. The story uses phrases such as 'hit hard' and 'ravaged' to describe the state and local budget situation. But the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis data show that state and local tax revenue rose 8.4 percent in 2004, 8.9 percent in 2005, 6.6 percent in 2006, and 4.9 percent in 2007. Tax revenue growth in 2008 has slowed from the large increases of prior years, but that is a needed respite for overburdened state taxpayers. Further, the general fund spending across the 50 states has now slowed from the huge 9 percent increases of 2006 and 2007. This is good news for Americans concerned about overexpansion in government, not a fiscal tragedy as some news outlets are portraying it."
"The federal minimum wage increases by 70 cents on Thursday, to $6.55 per hour from $5.85," reports The New York Times. "The increase is the second of three increases to take effect under legislation enacted last year that raised the minimum wage after it had remained unchanged at $5.15 an hour for nearly a decade. The increase will raise the minimum wage in 25 states; the other 25 have minimum wages higher than $6.55."
Cato Institute Chairman William Niskanen comments:
"The increase in the federal minimum wage by 70 cents per hour to $6.55 effective today is only the latest example of making economic policy by wishful thinking or hypocrisy. Most of the costs of a higher minimum wage will be borne by the least skilled members of the labor force, most of which are young and many are minorities. This increase will reduce the employment of the least skilled and restrict their employment opportunities to jobs with low non-wage compensation (such as health insurance) and the least desirable hours and working conditions. Most of the beneficiaries of this increase are likely to be secondary workers in non-poor families. These effects are documented by decades of careful empirical research. One obvious question is raised by such policies: If this is such a good idea, why not set the minimum wage at $10.00 per hour or more?"
"Talks to salvage a global trade deal faced a crunch point on Thursday after three days of scant progress and officials said it would be clear soon whether it was worth pressing on," reports The New York Times. "Rich and poor countries are at loggerheads as to who must make the next moves to break the deadlock which threatens to delay further the World Trade Organization's Doha negotiations on trade liberalization."
"Improving the international trading system does not require new, comprehensive multilateral agreements. Countries can derive large gains from the trading system by engaging in reforms often referred to as trade facilitation. In broad terms, trade facilitation includes reforms aimed at improving the chain of administrative and physical procedures involved in the transport of goods and services across international borders. ... According to recent studies from the World Bank and other international economic institutions, trade facilitation reforms could do more to increase global trade flows than further reductions in tariff rates."
Copyright 2007, Cato Institute, All Rights Reserved
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." - Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"I must be allowed to be as I am." - Agnetha Faltskog
"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life..."
The ABBA tribute band Björn Again became so successful that as of 2004 there were five casts of Björn Again performing in various parts of the world. The original Björn Again had been touring for 15 years, longer than the original group. -from Wikipedia
• A moderate position is one that is half way between the way someone wants things to be, and what the Constitution actually says. • What's the difference between a government bureaucrat and a catfish? One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish. • A U.S. sniper, asked what he feels when he shoots an al-Qaeda member, replies: "Recoil."
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces.
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus. 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
Have a look at the other pages of this site. Jokes about Norwegians, Libertarians, Accountants, and the WarCraft and RuneScape games are on JokeCat’s pages. Various other humor and games are here too. JokeCat thanks you for visiting these pages, and would appreciate your feed back and anything funny you have to contribute. Keep smiling. Email@JokeCat.com
FreeMarketNews.com - World News/Editorials and Analysis
Jul 25, 2008 02:34AM
President Bush's single largest request for funds and "most important initiative" in the fiscal 2009 intelligence budget is for the Comprehensive National Cybersecurity Initiative.
In a rare move, one of al-Qaida's highest-ranking leaders has conducted an on-camera interview with a journalist and, in the process, called for the destruction of Pakistan's government.
What is a Libertarian?
An economic conservative and a social liberal. This is can be better understood by taking "The World's Smallest Political Quiz" on this page.
A Libertarian is a person who believes that:
We should be peaceful and use the ballot box, and the legal system as it exists today, to effect change. We should have as much personal freedom as possible, and as little government as necessary. The more government does, the less the individual does, that there is a direct inverse relationship between a bigger government and a smaller man. An individual's happiness requires personal freedom and responsibility. Human relationships should be voluntary. That we should not be forced to pay for another's health care, housing, food, etcetera. We as exist as an end in ourselves, and not as the means to someone else's vision of society (Thank you, Ayn Rand). Individuals have the moral duty not to infringe on the rights of others. Private ownership of property is both more moral and more efficient than communal ownership of property.
Of course it is true that not all Libertarians agree on all these points, but Libertarianism is an interesting perspective. Its ideas run counter to our current political climate. At times we see long held beliefs of ours adopted by the main stream. The lowered capital gains tax rates, the opening up of domestic and foreign markets, and the freedom of the Internet, though not specifically Libertarian accomplishments give us hope that our ideas are heard. When real capitalism makes a small gain, or personal liberties advance a bit, we feel that perhaps others do see the value of liberty.
In simplest terms, We are Capitalists. Very few groups can make that claim.
The LAPD, FBI, BATF, and the CIA were all trying to prove they were the best at apprehending criminals. The president decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each agency has to try to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant & mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The BATF goes in. They register all the animals in the forest, thereby creating so many piles of paperwork that the rabbit simply eludes the agents by hiding amidst the forms. After a year of registration, and no rabbit, they decide that something has to be done to justify their continued existence. Prepared for just such an emergency, they pull out their 'throw down' rabbit and tie it to a tree in the middle of a clearing. The next morning at 4AM, fourteen black-clad machine gunning agents storm the clearing, complete w/ flash-bang grenades & tear gas. The rabbit is shot while 'trying to escape'.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later w/ a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: 'Okay!, Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'.
-from 12/97 Precision Shooting, courtesy of Texas High-power Shooters
You might be a Libertarian . . .
#1: Speed limits - If you just bought a new radar detector for your truck that shakes so bad it won't go over 55, then you might be a Libertarian. #2: Wetlands If you think wetlands legislation would be a better idea if it was about allowing liquor to be sold on Sunday, then you might be a Libertarian. #3: Corruption - If you think 99 percent of politicians give the rest of them a bad name, then you might be a Libertarian. #4: Term limits - If you think that politicians should be limited to two terms. . . one term in office and then one in jail, then you might be a Libertarian. #5: Justice - If you believe in Capitol Punishment. . . you believe that everyone in the Capitol ought to be punished, then you might be a Libertarian. #6: Military and foreign policy - If you think that rather than send our boys to die in Bosnia or Saudi Arabia, we should just shoot them here and save the shipping cost, then you might be a Libertarian. #7: Regulation - If you think that it should be harder to get welfare than it is to get a building permit, then you might be a Libertarian. #8: Freedom of the press - If you think that a magazine worth banning is probably a magazine worth buying, then you might be a Libertarian. #9: Government efficiency - If you think that crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it, then you might be a Libertarian. #10: Bureaucrats - If you think that the problem with civil servants is that too many of them are neither civil nor servants, then you might be a Libertarian. #11: The War On Drugs - If someone asks you if you mind if they smoke and you ask them to be more specific, then you might be a Libertarian. #12: The environment - If you think we should save the planet. . . in fact, you think we should collect all NINE, then you might be a Libertarian. #13: Right to privacy - If they ask you to take a urine test at work and you feel like telling them you'll give them a taste test, then you might be a Libertarian.
-from Willy Star Marshall LP candidate for Utah State Senate, District 27
New Orleans City Businessreports that Orleans Parish District Attorney Keva Landrum-Johnson has instituted a new policy of charging minor marijuana offenders with felonies if they have prior convictions. Under state law, possessing a small amount of marijuana is a misdemeanor that can result in a jail sentence of up to six months but is typically punished by a small fine. Subsequent offenses can be treated as felonies, punishable by up to five years in prison for a second offense and up to 20 years for a third offense. But Landrum-Johnson's predecessors routinely exercised their discretion to treat such offenses as misdemeanors. The new D.A. has reversed that policy so she can rack up felony prosecutions and demonstrate her tough-on-crime credentials:
Shortly after Keva Landrum-Johnson took over as district attorney...hundreds of new felony cases flooded the public defenders office, overwhelming the 29 defense attorneys.
After New Orleans regained its title as the nation's murder capital, the public demanded its city leaders crack down on violent crime. By filing hundreds of new felony cases each month, it appeared as if the new DA heeded their call.
Unfortunately, this wasn't the case, said Steve Singer, chief of trials for the Orleans Public Defenders Office.
The flood of new felony charges didn't target murderers, rapists or armed robbers— they targeted small-time marijuana users, sometimes caught with less than a gram of pot, and threatened them with lengthy prison sentences.
The resulting impact has clogged the courts with non-violent, petty offenses, drained the resources of the criminal justice system and damaged low-income African-American communities, Singer said.
Nearly all of the people facing felony charges for smoking pot are black and poor, because, as everyone knows, virtually no middle-class white people smoke pot. One defendant cited by the paper is a man who was "arrested once before as a teenager 20 years ago" and since then "has married, raised a family and kept out of trouble." Now he may have to spend the money he saved for his son's college tuition on legal expenses. Take that, crime!
In May I marveled at New York City's little-noticed crackdown on pot smokers, which has a similar racial skew, unjustly converts citable offenses to misdemeanors, but looks enlightened compared to Landrum-Johnson's crusade.
Trawling YouTube's daily list of top "activism" videos, I found this wonderful, horrible clip of Noam Chomsky pontificating on the evils of pornography. Chomsky first defends himself against the charge that he himself is complicit in promoting pornography because, back in 2004, he was interviewed by Hustler magazine. But, he tells his interrogator, he "had never heard of The Hustler" until someone told him "what The Hustler was." Chomsky, a prolific emailer, apparently didn't know that The Google could have provided him with much information on The Hustler and its filthy contents.
Pornography, says the sage of MIT, is "disgraceful," "a humiliation and degradation of women." Does it matter, the interviewer wonders, that most porn performers "choose to do the job and get paid?" Chomsky offers this labored analogy in response: "The fact that women agreed to it and are paid is about as convincing as the fact that we should be in favor of sweatshops in China where woman are locked into the factory and work fifteen hours a day and then the factory burns down and they all die. They were paid and they consented, but it doesn't make me in favor of it." And for all of you porn consumers out there, Chomsky wants you to know that if you get "pleasure out of the humiliation of women [you] have a problem." So how do we improve the lot of porn performers? By banning "the degradation of woman" and "eliminating the conditions in which woman cannot get decent jobs; not permit abusive and destructive behavior."
For those of you who speak a Scandinavian language, you can find out just what Noam Chomsky thinks of me here, and just what I think of him here.
You Know You're A Liberal If....
You pale at the execution of child killers, but defend the killing of unborn children as an expression of choice. You think trees have feelings, animals can conceptualize and the fetus is a blob of protoplasm. You think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on parental authority, while sex education, condom distribution and multiculturalism are values-neutral. You consider the Catholic bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and welfare cuts but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life. You are convinced that proponents of welfare reform hate the poor and opponents of affirmative action hate minorities, but AIDS activists who bash the Pope and People for the American Way types who go psycho over Protestant "fundamentalists" are guardians of democracy. You attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation. You think the black middle class is a myth created by Newt Gingrich. You don't understand all of the whining about affirmative action and are more than willing to sacrifice someone else's employment or education opportunity to assuage your guilt. You see no correlation between welfare and the rise of illegitimacy, judicial leniency and surging crime rates, or addiction and an entertainment industry that glorifies drug abuse. But you believe Richard Nixon is responsible for everything horrible that's happened in the past quarter-century. - from eircom.net
As if the Gandhian romanticization of self-sufficient, modest village economy needed any more discrediting, a new study finds that happiness is nicely correlated with economic prosperity:
“the new survey finds people of rich countries tend to be happier than those of poor countries. And controlling for economic factors, certain types of societies are much happier than [...]
In general, we humans no longer performback-breaking work in farms, for example; nor do we run on our two feet–with a spear in hand–chasing prey. As a species, we have removed ourselves far away from thedirect tasks of survival.We have moved into the phase of flourishment–or survival qua man; i.e., living as appropriate not to [...]
The Libertarian candidate for Alabama Governor, Loretta Nall ran an interesting campaign. The following quote appears to be from a story from a USA Today blog: "Undeterred, her campaign T-shirt features a picture of the buxom candidate next to the phrase "More of these boobs." Below, wrapped around smaller images of Riley, Baxley, Moore and former governor Don Siegelman is the phrase “and less of these boobs!"" - USA Today. Click on the picture above to see more.
"We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail." -George W. Bush, Speech after the 9/11 attacks.
Cartoon by Jennifer Schiffman
"Without government, who would I make fun of? So when it comes right down to it, I suppose I only went libertarian for the jokes." - Jonathan David Morris
In every country the Communists have taken over, the first thing they do is outlaw cockfighting. - John Monks, Oklahoma state representative, arguing against a bill that would make cockfighting illegal in his state.
I vote Libertarian, as the very thought of dope-smokin' gun-totin' wife-swappin' atheist Ayn-Rand-worshippers running the country gives me a warm feeling in the cockles of my heart. - John Hattan in alt.fan.bob-larson, March 23, 1999.
When Mikhail Gorbachev was asked by one of his generals what hundreds of pin-stripe suited, briefcase-carrying gentlemen were doing marching in the May Day parade, he replied that they were economists and they had a greater capacity for destruction than all the military might of the Red Army. - Sean O'Doherty, "The Irish Independent"
How bad is North Korea? People there want to be sent to Siberia. - Claudia Rosett, "Wall Street Journal"
The modern definition of Fascist is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal. - Peter Brimelow
"Environmental activists don't use logic or reason." - The South Park gang flees the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival.
Ayn Rand (author of Atlas Shrugged) is still somewhat of a controversial figure. She called herself an Objectivist. She made effective libertarian arguments at times. Below she makes one of her best. She was writing about freedom, about living ones own life, about owning ones life:
"Neither am I the means to any end others may wish to accomplish. I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs. I am not a bandage for their wounds, I am not a sacrifice on their alters." ** Source: ''Anthem '', Chapter XI
Many libertarians looked up to Rand while Rand looked down on them. Rand has her place. Her arguments can be the best. I agree with some important things she wrote.
Here is some Objectivist humor:
• Why don't Objectivists wear pocket protectors? So that people won't mistake them for accountants. • How many Objectivists does it take to change a light bulb? You second-hand, evading social metaphysician, Ayn Rand has already changed it. The world just hasn't noticed yet. • What's two plus two? Whatever Ayn Rand said it was. • What's two plus two? Ayn Rand said it was "four," but she never followed up on her own groundbreaking insight. Now, thanks to the work of David Kelley, we're finally able to verify her result independently and give it the attention it deserves. • Why did the captain of industry cross the government-subsidized Interstate highway? Because it was the only way to get to his privately owned railroad. • Why was Ayn Rand so paranoid? Because of her psycho epistemology. • Why did the non-Objectivist chicken cross the road? To mooch off the productive achievements of the Objectivist chickens who had already shown the way to the other side. (Fortunately, since A is A, a tunnel collapsed on it and it died as it deserved.) • Dear Ayn Randers: Help! I've lost my car keys! My wife says they're somewhere in our house, but my son says they're not. What should I do? Signed: Keyless in Milwaukee. Dear Keyless: Check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.
Lawyer and Politicans Jokes:
• Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps? New Jersey had first pick. • What's the difference between a dead lawyer on a street and a dead dog on the street? There are skid marks in front of the dog. • There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge. • The trouble with the legal profession is that 98% of its members give the rest a bad name. • What's the difference between a carp and a lawyer? One's a scum sucking, bottom dredging parasite and the other one's a fish. • Then there was a time the judge was asked to contribute 10 bucks to a lawyer's funeral. "Here's a hundred," he said, "Bury 10 of them." • Why don't we ever hear of a thief burglarizing a politician's house? Professional courtesy. • How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it. • A politician was campaigning in a rural area. Outside a ramshackle house, he saw a young man milking a cow. He approached the man, ready to make his pitch for a vote. Just as he was getting started, an old man called from inside the house. "Luke, get in the house. And who is that guy you're talking to?" "Says he's a politician, Pop," Luke said. "In that case, you'd better bring the cow inside with you." • What's the difference between a politician and a trampoline? You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline. • A lawyer charged a man $500 for legal services. The man paid him with crisp new $100 bills. After the client left, the lawyer discovered that two bills had stuck together--he'd been overpaid by $100. The ethical dilemma for the lawyer--should he tell his partner?
We hate our politicians so much that even if they tell us they lied, we don't believe them. - Peter Newman
One cannot be both a socialist and a scientist. Unlike socialists, scientists try their theories on dogs first. - Russian Folk Wisdom
MTV may talk about lighting fires and killing children, but Janet Reno actually does something about it. - Spy Magazine
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. - Robert Frost
"They had fangs. They were biting people. They had this look in their eyes, totally cold, animal. I think they were Young Republicans." - Andy, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
A nice girl, she had never even seen a Democrat, except in police bulletins. - Clive James meets a Young Republican, "The Observer"
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do Cubans want to come here? - Paul Harvey
Wherever there is a jackboot stomping on a human face there will be a well-heeled Western liberal to explain that the face does, after all, enjoy free health care and 100 percent literacy. The fact is that political stupidity is a special kind of stupidity, not well correlated with intelligence, or with other varieties of stupidity. I do have some opinions that aren’t very respectable. Is this any way for free people to live? - John Derbyshire, "National Review"
What you're talking about is assassination, which is a serious violation of international rules. On the other hand, it is perfetly OK to drop large quantities of bombs on a foreign country, as long as you are not specifically trying to drop one on the foreign leader, which would of course under the rules would be assassination. (These rules are made by lawyers.) The rules also state that, when you drop your bombs, you are supposed to try to gain a Consensus of World Opinion, which is legally defined as 'at least four nations that know how to make a decent car, plus, if he is not off somewhere building a house, Jimmy Carter.' - Dave Barry
Andrew Sullivan recently unleashed upon the earth an essay about conservatives of faith and conservatives of doubt. He normally calls faith-cons theocons (especially if they oppose gay marriage) but, to date, he hasn’t called the other camp the skepti-cons, perhaps because that sounds too much like a new camp of villains among the Transformers. And of course there are the more traditional factions in the Great Hall of the Right (I imagine a crowd of generals and aides-de-camp in different uniforms crowded around a giant map of liberalism barking at each other over strategy): libertarians, Burkeans, Hayekians, and so on. - Jonah Golbderg, "National Review"
The modern definition of Fascist is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal. - Peter Brimelow
As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one. - Godwin's Law
If you're too stupid to understand that a philosophy that favors a federally structured republic, with numerous restraints on the scope and power of government to interfere with individual rights or the free market, is a lot different from an ethnic-nationalist, atheistic, and socialist program of genocide and international aggression, you should use this rule of thumb: If someone isn't advocating the murder of millions of people in gas chambers and a global Reich for the White Man you shouldn't assume he's a Nazi and you should know it's pretty damn evil to call him one. - Jonah Goldberg, "National Review"
Command-style economics is a little like steroids in athletics: You get a burst of rapid growth when the drugs first take hold, but after a while you realize that your national testicles are shrinking. - Glenn Reynolds, MSNBC
"We'll always be secure in the knowledge that without the USA, you'd be the smallest darn province in the Russian Empire." - Standard American insult to Brits
Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor. - Edgar R. Fiedler
Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. - Herbert Hoover
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. - John Kenneth Galbraith
More Quotes from O'Rourke:
• I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to make a buck. • Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do. • A Conservative is a Liberal who has been mugged. • Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. • Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet. • I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid. • The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. • The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. • A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. • Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." - P.J. O'Rourke, perhaps the best know libertarian comedian.
He also said:
"Our government gets more than thugs in a protection racket demand, more even than discarded first wives of famous rich men receive in divorce court. Then this government, swollen and arrogant with pelf, goes butting into our business. It checks the amount of tropical oils in our snack foods, tells us what kind of gasoline we can buy for our cars and how fast we can drive them, bosses us around about retirement, education and what's on TV; counts our noses and asks fresh questions about who's still living at home and how many bathrooms we have; decides whether the door to our office or shop should have steps or a wheelchair ramp; decrees the gender and complexion of the people to be hired there; lectures us on safe sex; dictates what we can sniff, smoke, and swallow; and waylays young men, ships them to distant places and tells them to shoot people they don't even know." -- from Parliament of Whores
"The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Or maybe the people in Texas were attacked because of abuse. But, if child abuse was the issue, why didn't Janet Reno tear-gas Woody Allen?" -- from The Liberty Manifesto
"In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again." - O'Rourke, on why Conservatives oppose gun control.
Problems with New.Net (NewDotNet)
New.Net (also called NewDotNet aka NDotNet) has taken up residence on one of JokeCat’s computers. Hours have been spent trying to remove their software. He is still working on this project.
Wikipedia has on one of it’s pages a link to New.Net’s Homepage where it says: Caution: Downloads from this website may contain spyware. Symantec calls it adware. SpyBot S&D software attempts to remove it but often fails. Suzi Turner writing for ZDNet calls it adware. Computer Associates calls it: Spyware, Adware and a Hijacker.
JokeCat’s standard for doing business is something he learned at the University of Minnesota. It is that you sell the customer what they need. You do not sell them what you have. New.Net has a product that JokeCat doesn't want. He wants to get it off his computer. But he can't because he isn't a computer technician.
So what is JokeCat’s opinion of NewDotNet? Not good. It’s not right that people have to spend their time trying to undo NewDotNet’s failed marketing attempts. It’s like having to pick up their marketing litter.
Problems with Quick!
Quick! (also know as quickbrowsersearch.com) Is part of NewDotNet and may be the part of it that first gets your attention. JokeCat sometimes searches from the browser address bar. Quick! hijacks this type of search. If NewDotNet disagrees with JokeCat’s use of the word “hijack”, maybe they ought to consider that JokeCat is their potential customer.
Quick! announces itself to its potential users by in effect saying, “I just fired Google for you. I am your new search helper.” New.Net must not agree with JokeCat that that is his choice to make. He must be given that respect before he will consider doing business with NewDotNet. NewDotNet’s first impression to its potential customers should be rethought.
For those wishing to reset their search to the way it was, New.Net offers a link. When you click the link: About the Quick! Search Service, you learn that, “Quick! is brought to you by New.net as part of our mission to help deliver easier web navigation. Now you can type your search term directly into your browser’s address bar!”
The problem is, JokeCat could already search directly from his browser's address bar, and has being doing it for years. So they have a chance to make their argument about why JokeCat should switch to Quick! and that's the best they can do. The first words on the page are out of date, and attempt to offer a lame reason. How about some real improvement as a reason why JokeCat should switch?
The above mentioned link from New.Net did work for JokeCat, at least it got rid of the Quick! search, but he makes no guaranty, and purposely omitted a link to it. The above link did not get rid of two junk NewDotNet entries SpyBot S&D finds every time it is run. SpyBot attempts to remove them, but can't. A Computer Associates program, EZ Antivirus also hasn't removed them. JokeCat would call their software persistent and resistant junk.
JokeCat supports the University of North Dakota in it's disagreement with the NCAA. He believes that the University respects the Sioux Warriors of the past.
The following is not a joke. Rather it is one of the reasons JokeCat is a Libertarian:
The Politics of South Park by Michael Cust 
